Fight fair in family arguments











Of course you love your siblings, (or, parents or best friend). Of course you would never want to fight or argue with any of them. And, of course, those are exactly the people with whom you have the most arguments.







No, you probably aren't constantly fighting with each other (though if that is the case, go talk to a counseling professional, because that's not how relationships with those we care about are supposed to work), but even the best of relationships are going to have disagreements and misunderstandings.







Working through those moments honestly and fairly can help strengthen a relationship for both parties, but make disagreeing an emotional shouting match and you can easily do real damage to an important relationship.







Instead, try these tips for disagreeing without causing harming:











- Remember your goal is to solve the problem, not "win" the argument.



- Don't let anger be your first reaction. When anger clouds judgment, it's easy to insult and disrespect the other person, resulting in an emotional fight rather than an attempt to deal with the issue.



- Don't let misunderstanding be the basis for the argument. If you think you've been misunderstood, ask the other person to tell you what he or she heard you saying. Simply restating what you really meant may straighten things out.



- Listen to the other person's side and make sure you really understand his or her position. We can be just as guilty of not understanding, or sometimes not even hearing, the other side of the argument.



- Be sincere and open. Don't resort to code words and innuendo which will only confuse meanings. Say what you mean, but say it respectfully.



- Stick to real issues — those things that really can be fixed. Launching a personal attack on the other person, focusing on emotional issues, or dragging up past problems and events will do nothing to solve the current problem.







Disagreements with loved ones happen, but that doesn't mean you both don't still love and respect each other. Discussing problems openly and in detail can often lead to a solution, but even when it doesn't, it's important to remember that the relationship itself is always more important than the current disagreement. If you can't find an immediate solution, agree to continue loving and respecting each other, and remember that there's always tomorrow to try and work things out.