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  1. #1
    Almost A Newbie

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    Default Lost friendship?

    This starts from a while ago. I met this guy whom I will call John last year we both liked each other, we knew each other for four months unfortunately he's a bit on the dense side with women and couldn't tell I liked him, he came back from a fair with a girlfriend. I have gotten over him however I still think of him as a really good friend as he was the first guy to ever genuinely want to get to know. (I haven't had the best of luck with nice guys). They've been together for a year and a bit now. My problem is that I noticed and a few of my friends noticed that whenever she was around me she would glare at me, her friends do it too. Now this normally wouldn't bother me but we're all in the cosplay community which is very small in my area. So I have to see her at events often.

    Here's the twist, despite this she was trying to add me on Facebook, several times (interestingly enough when I got a boyfriend and when we broke up, also when her boyfriend moved closer to me). She also poked me even when I removed them. John also asked me why I wasn't adding her, this was around the time my boyfriend and I broke up. Apparently she really quite liked me...I do like to think the best of people but my friend was in a similar situation and she said it's not normal for the girlfriend to like the ''other girl'" and with her glaring it kind of makes me think she doesn't like me. Plus I had this gut feeling telling me something wasn't right. I do understand she must obviously love him a lot and is scared of losing him but at the same time..I felt uncomfortable. Despite my gut feelings I did think about being her friend, if this situation hadn't have happened I think we would have gotten along well. I was torn because perhaps she was glaring out of fear that I didn't like her, or may have hated her for being with him.

    I kind of lost it at John one time and told him I didn't want to be friends with her and him constantly asking me to and her sending me friend requests was making me uncomfortable. (At the time I was also under a lot of stress because of personal issues and was snapping at everyone, I also have trouble trusting people due to an incident earlier on in life, it took me four months to even trust John.) His girlfriend has never once come up to me in person, or even smiled at me. I don't personally like to add people I haven't had a conversation with in person. He ended up angry but at the end of his message he said he would still like to be friends but I must understand he can't please everyone. So I apologised and asked if we could talk on the phone, at that time I was thinking of arranging to meet up with her, as he also told me she was worried I would dislike her. But then he blocked me on Facebook...

    My friend messaged him asking him why he did it, he said it was unfortunately necessary and that he couldn't be in the middle anymore. My friend told him I would send her an apology message, he was happy with that and told her he would re add me once it was all over. I understand it must be difficult to be in the middle but I feel like I was held up to ransom and how could two girls who don't know each other or have any way of contact besides some public cosplay events during the year? This sort of situation isn't something you want to discuss in public.

    She blocked me after I sent the apology message, a message that was quite sincere on my part. If she really did want to be my friend then I felt terrible that I had possibly upset her.

    What I need to know is, am I correct in thinking she never really liked me, or is it possible I have hurt her feelings? Or they both believe I still like him...which would be understandable if not for the fact that it's been a year and I moved on and met someone else. ( My boyfriend and I broke up a while ago....I'm still getting over him at the moment). I have to see them at a cosplay events as mentioned before, I'm naturally quite shy and don't like drama. I went to an event the day before, John was there but his girlfriend wasn't, though all of their friends were. He didn't approach me or say anything to me but I did catch him staring a few times and he just had a blank slate.

    How can I repair this friendship? Is there even any point in sorting things out when he could just block me like that? Is it a case of both parties thinking the other doesn't like them? If someone could please give me some advice I would gladly appreciate it.
    Last edited by Amelie; 19-12-2012 at 11:44 AM.

  2. #2
    Junior Member

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    Try to act the way your friend want you to act. Try to understand how you can be better friend so they can appreciate you..

 

 

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