perants slap there kids.

**boston** · 29-11-2006, 01:22 PM

kids always think that they can get what they want but perants sometimes give the child a slap, is this the right thing togo?

WHAT DO U THINK?

**Lana** · 02-12-2006, 05:12 AM

In my opinion it's not right to smack children, or anyone for that matter. Telling a child not to do something and then hitting them for it is indirectly telling them that when anyone does something that they don't like that they should hit the person.

My parents never smacked me and I turned out just fine. Good parenting skills hasn't got anything to do with a smack imo.

**hilary101** · 21-12-2006, 08:52 AM

its really sad to see some kids get hit over the smallest things, some moms and dads go really over board, eg: grabbing them by the arms really titely and then smacking them, and also yelling at them for everyone to hear. i really feel sorry for some kids as its not right. i never been hit by mom or dad i think i should think myself luck.

**BoYkA** · 18-12-2007, 10:17 AM

a small tap on the but is ok but any harder no.

**rainbow** · 18-12-2007, 10:50 AM

Before I answer, let me just say that spanking and beating are two different things. I'm against beating. I'm not against spanking, depending on a bunch of conditions.

1. First and foremost, and more importantly, it depends on my child's temperament. I've seen children who are so easy to raise that they can be disciplined without spanking. Thus, I'd use spanking as an absolute last resort.

2. The spanking MUST be controlled, predictable, and given at the right time (so that the child knows exactly why s/he is being spanked). It must be the same severity every time.

3. The child must understand why s/he is being spanked. I think it's important to talk to the child after...asking him/her why he/she got what he/she got, and ask the child what could have been done instead to get the child to stop that behaviour. If the child suggests something, make a deal with the child that next time that child acts out of line, you'll try the child's suggestion. I think this is important. When I was young, I never felt like my parents listened to or cared about my opinions/what I had to say. They were the parents, and so, I just had to do with they said, even if I thought they were wrong. This is why I think it's important to talk to your children, and make them feel important by listening to what they have to say. As well, if they suggest a punishment, they'll be sure to follow the rules, because they know that if they don't, they know they'll get a much worse punishment (ie. YOUR punishment).

4. If spanking the child doesn't seem to be working (not immediately, but after a longer duration of time...say, a few months) to change the child's bad behaviour, a new form of discipline should replace it.

5. I also think that it's important to move on after a situation has been dealt with. For example, if you get into a fight with your child, but it gets settled...move on and pretend it didn't happen (as long as the lessons have been learnt, of course). Don't keep this dark cloud hanging over the home. You want to make sure your moods are predicatable- and you're mad only when something wrong is still going on.

I wrote this really quickly because I am VERY opinioned about parenting...so sorry if it doesn't make that much sense.

**Silent_Rage** · 18-12-2007, 12:57 PM

I for one don't think hitting a child is right like the others say a tap on the but like spanking is no bother but hurting a child is different story from spanking ....kids are getting worse cause parents are letting them control them parents should know who is boss ...I blame parents some parents are scared of there own kids ...and that is bad...some parents need to think...and have control of there child or children and exlplain the meanings what the child has done wrong or right..

**AFG_47** · 19-12-2007, 02:52 AM

my parents hit me and i turned out like shit

my brain is ****ed so yeh

any ways i will not hit my child EVER

even he acts like an asshole

all i will do is take his games and such like that

if i ever get a child no022

**shadowman** · 19-12-2007, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by rainbow

Before I answer, let me just say that spanking and beating are two different things. I'm against beating. I'm not against spanking, depending on a bunch of conditions.

1. First and foremost, and more importantly, it depends on my child's temperament. I've seen children who are so easy to raise that they can be disciplined without spanking. Thus, I'd use spanking as an absolute last resort.

2. The spanking MUST be controlled, predictable, and given at the right time (so that the child knows exactly why s/he is being spanked). It must be the same severity every time.

3. The child must understand why s/he is being spanked. I think it's important to talk to the child after...asking him/her why he/she got what he/she got, and ask the child what could have been done instead to get the child to stop that behaviour. If the child suggests something, make a deal with the child that next time that child acts out of line, you'll try the child's suggestion. I think this is important. When I was young, I never felt like my parents listened to or cared about my opinions/what I had to say. They were the parents, and so, I just had to do with they said, even if I thought they were wrong. This is why I think it's important to talk to your children, and make them feel important by listening to what they have to say. As well, if they suggest a punishment, they'll be sure to follow the rules, because they know that if they don't, they know they'll get a much worse punishment (ie. YOUR punishment).

4. If spanking the child doesn't seem to be working (not immediately, but after a longer duration of time...say, a few months) to change the child's bad behaviour, a new form of discipline should replace it.

5. I also think that it's important to move on after a situation has been dealt with. For example, if you get into a fight with your child, but it gets settled...move on and pretend it didn't happen (as long as the lessons have been learnt, of course). Don't keep this dark cloud hanging over the home. You want to make sure your moods are predicatable- and you're mad only when something wrong is still going on.

I wrote this really quickly because I am VERY opinioned about parenting...so sorry if it doesn't make that much sense.

I totally agree with you.

My parents smacked me on the butt, only in when i deserved it, for example doing something over and over when i was told not to. After that i wouldn't do it again, because i knew it was wrong. There parenting skills were amazing, but then i was the sixth child so by then, i would be surprised if they hadn't perfected the art of raising a child.

P.S i believe that i have turned out welll, and i know the rest of my familly have too.

**arwen** · 11-01-2008, 11:26 PM

i will have to agree with rainbow giving a child a slap because he has done something wrong just shows that u don't like that and that they should not do it again if u start beating them then i see that as a problem, i don't have kids but my parents only hit me 2 times and then let me put it like this they had a point

**Coffinlure** · 12-01-2008, 01:59 AM

i been slap by my mother called a bitch, been hit by a belt and got blame for her devorce. she will blame me for anything and do what ever it takes to make my life seem like i should be dead.

the ones that hit their kids or wont let them express themselves shouldnt have kids.