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This is completely stream of consciousness. For better or worse, I didn't edit a thing or take a moment to revise. I'm not looking at this as traditional poetry, even though I consider myself a traditional poet. This is therapy. I hope someone else feels it the way I do.







-Lisa











Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







Sure, they say



Statistically,



that bulimics tend to be of



Average weight,



Sometimes overweight.







Well, that all depends, I think



on how determined you are



To hide your disease,



on how much you want



to be thin.







Did I say want?



Did I say me?



Well, somebody wants



Emaciation,



but I'm not so sure



it's me.







I bet my pocketbook's



On par



With a heroin addict's.



Ok, maybe not a heroin addict,



but certainly a crack head.



Why didn't I choose drugs for my



Addiction?







That's what it is, you know.



I know,



oh I definitely know



because I'm jonesing



for a fix



All the time.







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







Diet pills are cheating.



I only use caffeine because



I like the way carbonation tastes.



Does carbonation



taste?



Can I taste anymore?







Well, I can lose weight



Or, somebody can,



Emaciate,



but I'm not so sure



it's me.







Ten minutes after eating is



Ten minutes too long.



Five, four, three, two, one...



Any length of time



between lips and my



Porcelain lover



is a time too long.







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







God, I'm glad



I stopped counting



Calories.



I stopped after I gave up



being Anorexic.







It's too hard to hide



how sick I am



When my bones



Protrude



just so.







If I can't be



Emaciated



on the outside,



Then I sure as hell



Will be



on the in.







I don't want to know



How many pounds



of Food



I can consume



in a day.







Consume,



That's a funny word,



as if I ate



any of it.







My biology teacher in



Tenth grade



once told me that



you couldn't gain any more weight



From your food



than what that food weighed.







So, if I purge my food's



Weight,



Won't I stay thin?



Did I say I?







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







I hate laxatives.



Mine are pink



because they're made for



Women.



Women?



Am I one of those?







They taste sweet



on the outside.



Who would've thought



you could sugarcoat a



Laxative?







Well, at least now I know



I can purge at both ends.



God this hurts.



Why do I do this again?



Did I say I?







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







Sure, that's right,



keep purging for years and



you'll get to lose



Another



type of weight.







Physically, it's negligible



But it sure is



Heavy



to me.







I wonder



if all my teeth



ever added up to a pound?



Well, they sure didn't



by the time the



Maxillofacial Surgeon



cut them



out of my mouth.







Eighteen



and



Edentulous.



Oh, look it up.



But, how's that



for cruel irony?







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!







Oxymoron time:



Thinness feels like



ten thousand pounds,



and ten thousand pounds



of Food



only make you feel empty.







Eat whatever you want and still lose weight!