I have been struggling with bulimia recovery for years now. I have been in so called recovery for awhile and the bulimia is just still there. It ebbs and flows like the ocean tides. Now, I realize that alcohol has become as big of an issue as the bulimia. I am not a young girl...I am old enough to know better than to be this way. It is affecting my marriage, my self confidence and self worth. I can see how I want to be....I just can't seem to get there. I see a therapist, but it hasn't seemed to help, really. I still binge, purge and drink in secret. I read about AA. I think about it, but I live in a small town (there isn't even an OA) and I just don't want others to see how screwed up that I am. They have no idea! I want to be proud of myself, I want the will power to stop, but I can't seem to find it.







Are there answers? I have been searching the web, books, anything that I can get my hands on and still the ED and drinking live on. I am afraid, I just don't know what to do. That's why I am on this board on this Sunday evening while my husband is in bed. I am totally powerless over my obsessions. i am sorry, this isn't a cheery post. I try to be a pollyanna and put on that happy face, but I am not cheery tonight. [img]images/smilies/cry.gif[/img]