You came into my life when I was twelve years old



I was too young to recognize the lies that you told



I trusted you with my body and let you in my mind



Knowing if I followed you, happiness I’d find



It’s eight years later and I’m still feeling lost



You’re an expensive friend and I’ve paid the cost



My body is worn and my mind is shattered



You let me think a number was the only thing that mattered



But here’s where you were wrong, you didn’t think I’d rebel



You thought I would keep living in this self-created hell



The food lists and the measuring, the scars on my hands



Are all I got in return for following your demands



I’m on the outside looking in because my behaviors exclude me



And despite being thin, happiness eludes me



It’s hard to face the fact that you were never my friend



But instead a parasite, sabotaging me from within



Sucking away my spirit and filling me with shame



As you simplified my life into a sick little game



I’ve sat in this chair crying, asking God to change my fate



Hoping things will change as soon as I get a clean slate



One more run, one more swim, and I’ll finally be okay



But recovery can’t start tomorrow, it has to start today



You have hijacked my mind and pushed me to the brink



And I’m not waiting around to see how far I sink



For the first time in my life I actually hate you



And I refuse to continue to accommodate you



I’m not being lazy so don’t even try your tricks



I’m tired of your games and I’m sick of being sick



I know you won’t just let me be and that I have to fight



But happiness is a privilege, not a right



And I’m willing to do whatever it takes



Because now I know just what you are, a phony and a fake



So goodbye anorexia, don’t even waste your breath



Because I’m ready to be born, and I’m ready for your death