Not so sure if i'm ranting or asking for advice.







my bestfriend, laila,



is very angry at me,



i'm not even sure if we're still going to be friends.



the back story of our friendship is long, complicated an basically full of me being a bad friend and lying all the time to her,



but i've changed, and i don't lie anymore, and she knows that.







basically,



i have no clue why shes freaking out.



she sends me these long texts about how shes built up over the years tons of frustration and resentment towards me, which makes it edgy when she talks to me,



and that i only call her when i have a problem, and only treat her like a good friend when its convenient to me, and the only thing thats changed is i dont lie anymore, but its messed up enough that i did lie to her.







I don't understand where this is coming from, i did nothing wrong.







Throughout our entire friendship she's called me out on things that i do that are wrong. Which is why i befriended her in the first place, because shes real and judgmental and is healthy for me.



but now its gotten ridiculous in the last 7 months.



She calls me out on the tiniest things, things that are none of her business to call me out on.







She says she feels left out of my life, put on the bottom of the list.



But thats not it at all.



Laila has her problems too,



shes one of those "i'm always right, i'm smarter than everyone" people. so its impossible to argue with her, which makes communicating my issues with her hard.







Also, a major problem, is she cant not be in a relationship.



she hasn't dated a bunch of guys, she goes in long term relationships with them. But our entire friendship, the last three years, shes never not been involved with someone.



she knows she has this problem but has never made any effort to fixing it.



she also slightly turns into the boyfriend herself.



with her latest (they've been dating for 7 months) ever since they started dating our friendship has been off and on good and bad,



shes a shut in now, just like him. They NEVER go out. they live with each other, well they switch from her house to his, but together. have i mentioned that were both 17? a little too young to be basically married. She never calls, i mean sometimes, but her herself told me and her other bff "you guys have jobs, school, a life and i'm always free so you guys have to call me to hangout". well i am tired of that, i want to feel wanted you know.



anyways thats basically the reason she feels shut out of my life, because we used to hang out and party all the time every single weekend, but now shes totally different, but yet i always get freaked out on.



i feel like no matter what, if our friendship isnt going well its always going to be "my fault"



I'm tired of her pointing fingers and telling me what i'm doing wrong, i feel like shes never going to be satisfied, always trying to pick something out about me that i need to change.







yes i have skrewed up in the past with her, and done awful things, but i'm not that person anymore, and i'm tired of being treat like i am.