Liking a guy I've never gotten along with; what should I do?

[xNina]

Hi all. Well, I'm 17 and have known this guy (same age) for around 5 years I think, and have known him well since I was 14-15 since he started to hang around with my friends and we and just a few other students spent a month or two at a kind of leadership camp at about that age. Anyway, he's tended to hang around with my friend group since then, there are about 6 of us and we're all really good friends. Except for him and I...

We have never gotten along, we have conflicting opinions about EVERYTHING, he's all mathsy and logical, which I'm not, I'm more into English and love animals (a common subject for our arguments. Mind, we will really argue about anything...). We have always acted like we hate each other. Maybe a year and a half or so ago our other friends came up with the idea that we had some type of love-hate relationship, which really bothered both of us. And they've continued this.

Anyway, in the last year or so a couple of things have happened. Firstly, while we will still argue and would immediately answer that we hate the other if asked, we can now hold a civil, friendly conversation if we happen to be alone together (walking to class or something). Secondly, I've started to like him. I ignored it at first, thinking it would just go away, but its not, my feelings are just growing. I haven't told anyone, even my good friends. It's been a while and now I think about it way too much. I've tried to act nicer towards him but I guess out of habit fall back into arguing and insulting him which he returns in kind. Stupid, I know.

For a month or two there I had myself convinced that there were signs that he could feel the same, but now, I'm not sure, but I THINK I was just being wishful. Anyway, I just can't get him out of my head, so I thought I would ask what everyone thinks. Should I just keep trying to get over it, try harder to be nice, say something to him? Even if he did return the feelings, would it be pointless to pursue something with someone I don't get along with?

Neither of us have ever had a boy/girlfriend or anything of the kind (as far as I know). A lot of people who don't know me well think I'm pretty weird, I think, and I don't think I'm attractive (gotta hate acne!), so I don't see what he (or anyone else) would really see in me anyway. Mind, he isn't the most popular, good-looking guy either, nerdy, not ugly and he certainly has his nice features but he isn't stunning. I don't think, at least until the last year that's pretty much what I've thought and what I think my friends do.

Anyway. Sorry for the long rambly story. I'm confused still and don't know how to put any of this, so it just came out as a heap of rambling, most of which you probably didn't need to hear... If anyone could give me any advice of any kind, I'd appreciate it. Thank you!

[Kd.]

I think one day when you're walking alone with him, you should just straight out ask him, take a deep breath, I heard guys love it when you make the first "move". If he doesn't like you, yeah it's going to be weird, but just stay with your little "Love-hate" relationship . Seems like you guys have fun together :P. They say opposites attract, maybe that's why you like him. By the way, you should say you're not pretty, as for the acne, a little face wash will do good. But I know you weren't here for that But, if he likes you, he likes you. In my opinion I maybe would tell a friend, just to get it off your chest, and if you don't want to tell the guy face-to-face that you like him, you should write him a note or something. But remember, deep breath and ask him Good Luck, tell us how it goes.


- I would like for a guy to respond to this too, cause I'm really sure that guys can give good advice about how guys are.

[LyDrake]

xNina.... to tell you the truth...he likes you.... idk but this same exact situation happened to me........ before we got together we always was in some kind of arguement.... we just love to harrass one another... in my country that kind of behavior is called "chinese Love" lol.... but me as a guy dont really like to make the first move... idk y but... all i can tell you from what you wrote he has a crush on you as well...... all i can say is go with the flow.... and as Kd. stated above ^^... when ever you guys are alone just tell him how you feel and just be your true self.... your natural self.....

[Gothic Story]

Anyway. Sorry for the long rambly story. I'm confused still and don't know how to put any of this, so it just came out as a heap of rambling, most of which you probably didn't need to hear... If anyone could give me any advice of any kind, I'd appreciate it. Thank you!

No need to say sorry. We need all info as possible. Love hate relationships can lead into best of friends rather than relationships. I have seen this happen many of times, the guy/girl even kiss and hug but in the end are better off as best buddy's.
Its usually the girl wanting to stay as best friends, you may have the upper hand on this, so dont get scared to ask the guy out for a drink or hang as the mall. An age mentioned would have been helpful to. Sorry i cant add anything else. Please fill us in on how stuff is going with you 2?

[xNina]

Thanks very much for the replies everyone! Would have responded sooner but have been pretty busy with exams. Dx

To be honest, I don't know that I'm confident enough to just ask him. Besides, I suspect that even if he does return the feelings, he'd just say no anyway and act disgusted at this point, just out of stubbornness, habit, surprise and/or embarrassment. I'm thinking I should try to get to know him better first. not sure how to go about that though, we spend a bit of time together but only with other people there. Honestly, I think you are right and I should at least tell a friend, I guess they could only help, besides, it's often their teasing that immediately sends us back into being horrible to each other when we seem like we could have a friendly conversation, I could tell them to stop that and they might actually listen. xD

Thanks, Kd., though, good advice. I appreciate it. Yeah, I can't find any products that seem to have much effect on the acne.

LyDrake, thanks. I hope you are right... I don't know though, I never used to have much as far as feelings towards him goes until the last year or so, and we acted the same then. :/

I mentioned, we are both 17, Gothic Story. Hm, okay thanks.

As for how it's going, nothing has really changed, we've just been pretty busy with year 11 exams. Nothing's happened. He lent me a pen once and a ruler twice for exams as he is ridiculously organised and I'm really not. Yep, I realise how sad it is that I even think about the loaning of stationery when it comes to him. Dx Honestly, I'm not too far off obsession, all I'm thinking about recently is how to get along with him better, catch him alone and drop hints. Gah, I need to be more confident. I'm just... not, though. :|

[Killer]

site down and have a few drinks together. get drunk so his true feelings come out lol. known fact and works

[xNina]

Haha. Can't see that happening, we only see each other at school.

[Kd.]

Well, you're welcome seems like you figured out your solution, definitely get to know him better good luck. :P

[BoYkA]

Haha. Can't see that happening, we only see each other at school.

theres no way to get to know the guy away from school? because we all act that little bit different at school true? we had social events here in vic/bendigo school, like at school, your school doesnt have this? that would be a good time to hangout. altho friends will be still present i guess, damn this is a tough one lol.
sorry i usually give good advice, i suck today.

[Kd.]

Hmm, maybe you can ask for his number? Or if he has My space or Facebook add him, those are solutions that way while you don't have school, you can chat it up with him and get to know him better.